IRL

[calzephyr]

I went to my first IRL meet up recently. It was fun! Have you gone to one? Have you organized one?

Comments

[jesse_the_k]

I never have, and I think there’s critical mass in my area, and I keep wanting to host one but I’m scared. Any news of your experience would be most welcome.

[fings]

I've been to two, both at an Indian restaurant in Jersey City. They were fun, but I've been busy with family and haven't made one in a while.

[calzephyr]

I was a little nervous too. The last time I met a forum group offline was years ago. I didn't know them well other than a mutual interest in the forum, so I said I was going to the washroom and ran away :-D

The group was really welcoming and fun. We made plans to meet at a board game cafe, but it was packed, so we went to a bar. I also brought my husband along since it was a in a trendy area and I couldn't pass up a chance to try a new restaurant.

[horusporus]

kinda thin in my neck of the woods, but rednikki was in town once and she was kind enough to pm me if i wanted to meet up! so that was nice

[viacom]

I have, once. In, omigod, the year of our lord two-thousand-freaking-seven. Twelve years ago! In a city and state I no longer live in.

Only one person other than me came and we had a good talk. Jesus, it was so long ago I couldn't even check Mefi on my phone to see if anyone had mentioned they were or weren't coming on short notice.

yes, yes, and opinion/tips

[brainwane]

I've tried to organize several, sometimes successfully ("success" here meaning that at least one non-me person comes), and attended several, including a few that I did not organize.

If I'm going to another city, I often post on MeFi IRL and see whether anyone wants to meet up while I'm there. Sometimes it works - if nothing else it often leads to a single person coming, and then I get to have a novel conversation.

My possibly heretical opinion/assumption is: people who have MetaFilter user accounts are more likely than the median Internet user to be anxious about meeting strangers and socializing in an unstructured face-to-face setting, and to find, on the day of the event, that looking forward to a "meet and make conversation with these strangers" event has not filled us with enough anticipation to overcome the inertia and default rhythms of our everyday lives (which is a factor in people changing an RSVP choice from "going" to "not going").

This is why "come do this specific thing with me" (watch a play, knit, sing karaoke), "let's piggyback on an existing structured social thing" (asking to meet MeFites who are going to the same convention/festival as me), and "let's attend this rare event" (watch a one-night-only entertainment event, "I'm only in town this week") are more likely to draw people to actually attend -- they help overcome the inertia and the anxiety.

[brainwane]

My comment below may be useful.

Re: yes, yes, and opinion/tips

[jesse_the_k]

Excellent advice! If we wanted to talk to random strangers in person we would already be doing that.

[grayduck]

We've had a few in the Twin Cities area, but nothing ongoing. I think it'd be fun to have an ongoing meetup, but I'm horrible at organizing stuff so it won't be me that gets it moving!

[moem]

I've been to one or two, and they were fun. But they rarely happen in my neck of the woods. And I have to include the other end of the country in 'my neck of the woods' or there would never be any at all.

[foxfirefey]

Oh, ha! I almost went to one once, and by almost I mean I got all the way to the venue, which turned out to be a very tiny bar utterly chock full of people and they were all being very loud. I milled around for about ten minutes, twisting and turning through the packed crowd, trying to determine who might be the meetup people, before I just gave up and hopped on the next bus towards home. I mean, I don't drink alcohol and don't even particularly enjoy being around drinking but I know for most people it's a good fixture to socialize around and so I try to be a good sport about it. Then there was the noise, I felt like I wouldn't be able to hear what people were saying, and I didn't know any of them already in person and that felt like a bad way to introduce. I'm quite loud and people can usually hear me, but I can have a hard time hearing other people in rowdy surroundings. The final killer was figuring out the logistics of how to actually find the meetup without being too weird at a bunch of strangers in the process.

[chrysostom]

I keep trying to make it, but IRL stuff comes up (actual stuff, not social anxiety).

[loosestrife]

Just adding a comment in case anyone feels like talking about this in here as opposed to, or in addition to, the pertinent MeTa thread. Thanks to brainwane for mentioning this discussion, and for reposting that very sensible comment. It's true, it's often easier just to say "hey I'm going to <thing>, anyone else?" Or even just "I'm visiting <city> between <dates>, anyone around?" One other person is plenty.